The power of human touch is an incredible thing. Pure, physical contact, however small can have far reaching benefits — physiologically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
It is all too easy to allow distance to enter your relationship, especially if your partner finds it hard to display emotion, physically or verbally. Reaching out to your partner with seemingly casual, but thoughtful, gestures can make a world of difference to how you can connect and is a good way to remind your partner how meaningful their touch is to you.
Try to plan your day so you can save some energy for your partner and then approach them for intimacy. Try not to wait for them to instigate physical contact.
If you show someone you need them, you can pay them no higher compliment.
Write it down
Slipping a handwritten note into their bag or briefcase, laying it on the console of their car or tucking it into their lunchbox will cause them to think about you during the day. From simply saying 'I love you' to describing something more intimate, words can touch the heart directly. Hopefully it will make them want to hurry home to you once their day is done.
When you are both working around the house, bringing them a drink or a snack is a huge sign that you notice their efforts to make your house a home. This small gesture speaks volumes about your gratitude, appreciation and your interest in what they are doing.
Flowers, chocolate, a favourite tipple to share or a ticket to a favorite game or would be an awesome gesture. It shows you are thinking about them.
Reach for your partner at random times. While watching television, out walking the dog, or at a restaurant. From just a touch to holding their hand, a public display of affection initiated by you is lovely to see. It shows a level of respect and honor that we see too little of in this day and age.
Give them a shoulder rub or neck massage. It is amazing how much stress you can hold in your neck and shoulders and quite often don’t realize until someone touches you. This intimate release will be a welcome relief for your partner - start gently and be guided by them as to the strength of your touch.
Hold their attention
When asking your partner a question, especially if you want their undivided attention, touch their arm or the back of their hand. This connection is guaranteed to get their attention. Team it up with direct eye contact if possible to deepen that connection and let them know you are focused solely on them and their opinion. It is a more intimate gesture than you might imagine and usually gets results.
Don’t be afraid of touch and showing affection. It fulfills one of our basic human needs and the smallest gesture can mean so much, lifting the spirit and enriching the soul.
Five top tips to improve a long term relationship
Even a great relationship could do with a little re-vamp every now and again. Your partner may be your best friend but sometimes the interaction between you can become a little stale if you're not paying quality attention to each other. With a little effort, you could turn your good partnership into a great one. Here's five top tips to improve a long term relationship and to help achieve a happier connection;
1.Put your partner first
This is so important. When you try to please someone, they usually respond by doing the same for you. Putting your partner first in you life is the most necessary part of the process. If you make them happy, they will make you happy. Happiness is spread by the people around you and the reward is seeing that happiness in their faces as you do something for them.
2.Get rid of the score card
Building a fantastic relationship requires one hundred percent commitment from each person. If you are fighting over whose turn it is to take the bin out or walk the dog, neither of you will give anything to your relationship. Do what you can when you can, and your partner will do the same. We all want to be good partners, not shirkers. Don't wait for the other person to do his or her share before you give in and do your bit. There has to be give and take in each partnership and over time, you will each give equally.
3.Give up the "to do" list
Well, at least don't make it a priority. Quality time together is far more important than getting all those endless jobs done around the house. Prioritize your time together and your partner will know how much you love them - those tasks will always be there tomorrow, just schedule your time appropriately and try and do as much as you can together.
4.Have frequent sex
It is true fact that frequent sex leads to a happier relationship. This does not have to be full on sex every day - just a passionate kiss and the promise of more to come can ignite the flames to be fanned to something bigger when you get the chance. Frequent sexual activity bonds you together into one whole and I'm not talking just physically. Whether it is the result of skin-on-skin contact, being vulnerable, or the "bonding hormone" oxytocin that gets released during sex, it brings you together, to deepen and strengthen your relationship.
5.Embrace your familiarity
Remember that this is your second chance at a vibrant and fulfilling relationship. Don't neglect that opportunity. It may not come around again. Take advantage of the security and resources that come with knowing your partner for a long time. You are settled and established - revel in the fact that you really know each other and enjoy the challenge of trying to surprise each other despite the length of your relationship. Put a little thought into pleasing your partner with something new and the effort made will reward you both. This is the time you can concentrate on your relationship and the person with whom you chose to spend your life. Enjoy the riches called familiarity.
Urban Daddy - giving you 'Perks' in all the right places
This month, Urban Daddy are offering you 'Perks' in all the right places. Here at Crowned Jewels we are excited to be running an exclusive 'Perk' promotion with our American Partners Urban Daddy, for their discerning members. They have chosen 'a trio of high quality pleasure devices' - the Mayfair, Shaftsbury and Farringdon, in all their jewel-like colours, to spice up their subscribers bedrooms and sex lives with quality and style.
UrbanDaddy.com is the online magazine to discover and be told about, the next best thing, available in America and beyond and it is well worth joining their email list, not only for the great offers but also to keep you abreast of great product and event news. The lucky subscribers are currently enjoying a fantastic 30% discount on the tree selected products while stocks last - so be quick and grab yours while you can!
Spring clean your toy chest
Sex therapist Sarah Berry sheds some sunlight on good toy hygiene
Spring is here and most of us are putting our finances, our health routines, our CVs and our sex lives under the spring clean spotlight. Most of us understand that we need to clean our houses (and sex toys) throughout the year, but I love a good seasonal hook. So while you are cleaning throughout the year, your toy collection may have been neglected.
First step: cleaning out the carnal cobwebs: how many of you have a bedside drawer full of old toys that don't work, don't get you off or are worse for wear? That giant, pink beauty may have looked so promising in the packet but when you got home, you realised that the vibrations were too weak, the dimensions were wrong or it felt funny. It now sits in your toy chest reminding you of your misspent money. Time to get rid and replace with something new and exciting, how about upgrading to a Titanium Shaftsbury.
The same goes for worn out toys. You may have had hours of fun with it, but a toy that grunts and grinds its way through a session is more likely to frustrate than delight. If you don’t think it warrants battery replacement or to get a new charger then its time to part ways. Luckily, unlike partners, its much less drama to switch for a newer, better looking and satisfying model. Rather than chucking them in the bin, you may be able to recycle them.
Next step: sterilisation. Of course if you left cleaning your toys to the months of May to June they are likely to be germ-ridden, dust-coated and not fit for use – especially if they are made of a non-porous material like jelly (the see-through, soft material used for most rabbits). Non-porous materials include Pyrex glass, acrylic, hard plastic and medical grade silicon and metal. Do note many toys are classed as novelties so while they improve your sexual health and happiness, they do not need to get FDA or NICE approval. This means the package may, for example, state that a toy is silicone even if it only comprises 10% silicone. The Crowned Jewels toys are medical grade titanium so non porous, long lasting and disintegration-proof. If you are sharing your toy, you may find cleaning your toy in the midst of a session can be a bit of a mood killer. Instead pop a condom over it – a new one each time the toy is placed against or in a different orifice.
But all toys still need cleaning after use – porous or not. Bacteria can breed even if the toy looks clean. The general rule is to not clean a toy with anything you wouldn’t put inside yourself, so avoid bleach. Many toys can be sterilised by being soaked in boiled water (please allow to cool before retrieving your toy). This is great for the non-motorised Crowned Jewels toys. If your toy is glass or if it vibrates, then wipe down the surface with antibacterial soap and warm water. Check with the manufacturer if you are unsure.
A word of warning: do make sure all traces of soap are fully rinsed away or your sterilised toy has cooled enough before you use it – we want you springing around in pleasure!
Sarah Berry is a sex & relationship therapist with a private practice. She is available for sessions over Skype or in her London office. For more info visit www.sarahberrytherapy.co.uk
Sex therapist Sarah Berry egg-splores the wonder of these two pleasure givers with Chocolate v Kegel Eggs!
This Easter, millions of ladies will feel delight in unwrapping the bright foil Easter eggs from (hopefully) their favourite confectioner. But it is my happy job as Crowned Jewels’ therapist by-appointment to help you think outside the chocolate box. So why not lay an egg that improves health, gives pleasure and isn’t gone in a few gobbles? Actually you’re welcome to have both but in the spirit of fun I’ve decided to pit the luxurious Crowned Jewels Kegel Eggs against our traditional chocolate eggs. So mouths and mounds at the ready...
Chocolate: While we all know too much of the brown stuff leads to weight gain, heart disease and diabetes, a little dark chocolate reportedly helps support our cardiovascular system, reduce coughing and ward off cancer.
Kegels: Use of these eggs can help relax you, intensify orgasms, ease childbirth and stave off both incontinence and prolapses. They come in two sizes to help you build up your vaginal stamina! We recommend you start with the larger egg that is 2.9cm in diameter and takes less kegel effort to hold. Then when you’re ready, move on to the smaller one that has a 2.5cm diameter. Unlike chocolate, the more you use them, the better!
Best for hunger
Chocolate: While it may not be as hunger quenching as, say, a bowl of pasta, chocolate certainly does fill a hole in one’s appetite.
Kegel: Well these eggs do fill a hole (arf arf) but you’re more likely to be hungrier after a session with one of these lovelies.
Chocolate: Since the Aztec times chocolate has been used as an aphrodisiac. However in the 1980s US researchers found that the body doesn’t absorb enough of the choccie nerve stimulant phenyl ethylamine (PEA) to affect us. So it is seems that the only thing these eggs arouse is our taste buds!
Kegels: If you insert one of these weighted eggs and do some kegel squeezes or masturbate, there is a very high chance of arousal!
Chocolate: Peeling open that brightly coloured foil to discover the delicious, sometimes engraved, prize inside transports me straight back to childhood. I love it!
Kegel: They come in a range of gorgeous colours and look like expensive jewels. This appeals to the happy adult in me.
Winner: It’s a draw
Chocolate: When chocolate is gone, it’s gone. Even if you are one of those blessed few that can manage to eke out an egg for weeks until it gets that dusty layer on it, you either eat it eventually or chuck it.
Kegel: These eggs are titanium and can last... well I guess they can last forever, which is a lot longer than than most chocolate and relationships. So you can feel the pleasure again and again.
Chocolate: How do you eat your cream egg? I bite off the top and take a big lick of the inside. Some use a spoon, others like to suck... the possibilities are rumoured to be endless.
Kegel: While wearing an egg you can masturbate, have sex, do the shopping (though this is only recommended for experienced users as you don’t want it dropping out!).
Winner: It’s a draw
Chocolate: Chocolate is one of the worlds most popular foods but not everyone likes it. While lactose intolerance and milk chocolate are not happy bedfellows and those with medical conditions like diabetes have to content themselves with dietary products, there are some poor souls who have a full blown chocolate allergy and need to steer clear of the whole lot!
Kegel: The Crowned Jewels’ Kegel eggs are made of medical grade titanium. As like chocolate, Kegel eggs aren’t to everyone’s taste. I wouldn’t recommend them if you find penetration difficult. Oh and the eggs aren’t for men – pop one of these up your bum and you may need a trip to A&E. Now that’s not our idea of a fun Easter egg hunt.
Winner: It’s a draw
Chocolate: Of course there are certain eggs that have presents inside: whether it’s a bag of sweets or a kinder toy, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Kegel: A kegel egg from loved one will likely be an un-egg-spected surprise. For an even bigger thrill, warm it under the hot tap or cool it in the fridge before inserting!
Chocolate: Well we can’t deny that even posh Easter eggs are cheaper than the Crowned Jewels ones. But their use is short lived (as we saw in the endurance heat).
Kegel: OK so they cost from £64 but if you look at cost per use, then these win the egg and poonai race.
So while Kegel eggs may win this ever so slightly biased egg-stravaganza, I have decided to declare every egg an Easter egg. So dear reader, have a lovely time whichever egg you choose.