You can have great sex without an erection

What do you do when you can’t achieve an erection when you want one? It can happen to any man at any time, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy great sex and intimacy. Erectile problems can be caused by many different things. Stress, anxiety and life pressures can all contribute, so once you have been to see your GP to rule out any medical problems, it’s time to consider your options. There are lots of ways of continuing a fulfilling and enjoyable intimate relationship. Once you remove the focus of sex being all about penetration and reaching orgasm, it opens up all sorts of possibilities to enjoy yourselves.

Talk about it

Be open with your partner and discuss your hopes, desires and hidden kinks. Explore what you both like and would like to try. How you like to be touched? Does rope play, temperature play or being blindfolded turn you on? Just talking about it brings a better level of understanding, intimacy and trust into your relationship, building closeness and stimulating arousal. Now is your chance to try something new, maybe something you haven’t dared to ask for before. Be bold – it could be brilliant!

It’s not all about Sex

Develop your intimacy in other ways other than sex. Go for a long walk, holding hands, being aware of your touch and your bodies brushing against each other.The simple pleasure of being together. Walks are a good place to chat – sometimes it’s easier to broach delicate subjects when you’re not facing each other.

Indulge in a leisurely meal together – shared finger foods can be a more intimate way of enjoying a relaxed dinner with a sensual element.

Try a scalp, foot or body massage with scented oils. Massage is a wonderful way to get up close and personal with your loved one without having sex and can be a great way to relax you both.

Explore a more intimate touch

Oral sex is often just thought of as being part of foreplay, but when it comes to getting really intimate with your partner, it’s about as close and personal as it gets. Giving oral sex can be just as pleasurable as receiving and fellatio can be highly enjoyable whether a penis is erect or not.

Hands and fingers are incredibly sensitive and stroking, drawing circles and maybe even gently using your nails up and down the body heightens the senses and teaches you where your body is most reactive.

The perineum, between the anus and penis is incredibly sensitive, as are the scrotum, penis and testicles regardless of an erection. Most men will find great pleasure from being touched, fondled and caressed whether erect or not. The penis does not need to be the focus for intimate enjoyment.

Experiment with Anal Sex

This can be a sensitive subject to some men but if you can remain open to trying it, it can be an immensely pleasurable experience. Simple anal sex can be quite enjoyable. Prostate or p-spot stimulation is also a revelation to most men. Massaging the prostate gland can stimulate intensely enjoyable sensations and orgasm without erection or ejaculation.

It is important to plan ahead. Do your research on what to do or expect. Buy a good quality lube and use plenty of it. Invest in good toys to enhance your experience (see below) and most importantly, take your time. It will be a completely new sensation and will take a little getting used to but well worth a try.

Play with toys

Sex toys for both sexes are now more common and acceptable in the bedroom than they have ever been. There should be no guilt or shame in adding a little fun into your sex lives and toys should always be seen as an addition to your intimate playtime to enhance your enjoyment.

If you are discovering the pleasures of anal sex, do your research, check out the bloggers recommendations and invest in some good quality toys. For a first experience, our Aluminium range of Plugs and Dildos are perfect, as they are lightweight and glide smoothly, especially with a good lube.

Alternatively, try using a vibrator on his genitals – they’re not just for girls! They can bring about wonderful sensations when used all over the body, on the penis and around the perineum too.

Useful links with Advice and Help for Anal Sex Beginners

Award winning writer and sexual adviser Cara Sutra has lots of good advice, links and tips on her website about all aspects of sex, intimacy and toys

http://carasutra.co.uk/search/anal+sex

A more medical approach with a guide to self exploration and the benefits it can hold

http://www.naturalprostate.com/Self-Prostate-Massage.html

Guides to Tantric, Sensual and Erotic Massage

http://tantricmassageguide.com/

 

 

 

 

 


Romantic breakups are an inevitable part of life, love and living. If you’re going to live life to the full, you’re going to risk some sort of heartache along the way. Here are some tips from the Crowned Jewels team to ease the pain, get you back on your feet and put yourself out there again, ready for your next passionate adventure.

Clean House

Get yourself clean and by that, I don’t mean just have a bath! Go through your living space and remove anything that reminds you of your recently ended love. Put clean, fresh sheets on your bed and rearrange your bedroom – even if it’s just moving pictures, mirrors or cushions. A new perspective helps get you off to a fresh start.

Distract yourself

Now is the time to indulge yourself in some healthy ‘me’ time. Start reading that new book you been meaning to get around to and binge watch a new tv series when you feel sad thoughts creeping in. Do an activity that you’ve thinking about or join a new club. You’re free and single now so it’s time to make the most of it in the most positive way. It’s time to take care of you and not dwell on the past.

Embrace your feelings

Let your feelings flow naturally. This won’t be easy and will be quite painful at times, but take note of how you feel. Trying to lock them away, means that you haven’t dealt with them and they will only resurface later – probably when you really could do without them! Cry, shout and swear, but most important of all, get it all out of your system and deal with them as they come. It’s painful in the short term but you will feel better for it later.

Change your look

Whether it’s treating yourself to a fabulous new bag, awesome pair of shoes or hot new jeans, make sure it’s something that makes you feel sexy and special. If you’re feeling really bold, change your hair or try a new style and look – whatever it takes to give you that ‘wow factor’ and get heads really turning. You might not be ready to get back in the saddle, but that doesn’t mean you should go unnoticed!

Make a song and dance of it

Sing like no one’s listening and dance like no one’s watching! It’s an old saying but it really works. It’s okay to indulge in some sad songs, at least for a little while but then switch it up for some tunes that you love with a thumping beat and a sing-along chorus. Blast it out at home or in the car to clear your head and lift your spirits.

Buy a new best friend

Of course, now is the best time to treat yourself to a new sex toy. Be it a vibrator, to get you to orgasm in short order, a dildo, (particularly a metal one!) to learn your body properly and find all your sweet spots or try something undiscovered, like a butt plug. You can please yourself without question or judgement from anyone else and you really deserve to spend some quality on you and your personal pleasure.

You may feel like your world has just ended, but everything, the feelings and pain is only temporary. It will all ease with time, life will march on and you might start to wonder what you saw in them in the first place. Learn from your experience, however good or bad, embrace your strengths and continue to grow as a person


Having fun with food in the bedroom

Food can be a great way to enhance your sex life and it doesn’t have to be restricted to chocolate sauce, squirty cream and the occasional strawberry. How can you incorporate food into the bedroom in a sexy way though? Here’s a few things to try to and have some fun with. It’s ok to laugh and something funny can turn into something pretty sexy too.

Why use food?

Firstly, why use food? It’s tasty, satisfying and there’s something a quite sensual about eating with your fingers, licking up the last of the cream, or being fed slowly by your partner. Get to know each other’s tastes, favourite foods, textures and preferred flavours and then make it erotic by exploring these together. It will certainly give you something different to talk about and shopping will be a part of the pleasure. Anticipation is a great aphrodisiac.

Choose your food carefully

Be conscious of what you choose, where you put it and how much you use! A dab or light drizzle of something is good, sexy, enticing and easy to remove with tongue and fingers, a huge dollop may not. Be mindful that your sweet treat might seem a little less sexy when you get stuck to the bed or to each other. Pausing to wash excess gloop out of body hair may not always be a pleasant experience and may break the mood a bit. Be thoughtful of what you’re about to spread on your body, where and how much, before it becomes a sticky mess – unless that’s what turns you on!

What kind of food?

It’s probably best to keep it sweet. You could use some soft fruit or sweet sauces and mix it up by trying a few temperature changes. Warm up some chocolate, custard or perhaps caramel sauce, for sensual drizzling and pouring, or cool things down a bit with some ice cream, ice lollies or sliced fruit from the fridge. Use a selection of foodstuffs to engage all of your senses and don’t be afraid try something different – rather than just licking, try sucking, smearing or nibbling.

Where does it go?

Once you’ve chosen your suitable delicacies, it’s time to think about where it’s going to go. In general, we’d suggest you keep it outside the body and away from the genitals entirely, to protect your sensitive and delicate skin. Ice cubes are a good all rounder, safe and suitable for use all over the body and there are plenty of erogenous zones to explore, for example earlobes, nipples and neck. Alternating warm and cool with varying textures will give you a whole host of sensations. Don’t forget to make sure you’re clean before becoming totally intimate.

The clean up

Playing with your food is fun and it can get really messy. Where ever you chose to do this be it at home, in a hotel room or out on a sexy picnic, be prepared! For the more serious and regular players, fluid proof sheets could be a great investment.  Sheets of San Fransisco make fabulous ones  – you can check them out at https://www.sheetsofsanfrancisco.co.uk

But when the food runs out, that doesn’t mean the fun has to end – you still have to get clean. Take the party to the bath or shower and help clean each other off. After all, if the food didn’t get you going, who can resist a steamy shower or sexy bath together?

Above all, have fun with it, laugh and try new things – after all, you never know what you might discover about yourselves

 


For a relationship to work, you both have to put a little effort in, but when that relationship is then stretched by a long distance and you have to be apart for lengths of time, a little extra thought is required to keep that fire hot for each other when time and miles get in the way. Here are a few ideas to make distance enhance your relationship rather than hinder it.

1-Sending texts, emails and voice messages

Keeping in touch with your loved one is always important, as communication is key to any good relationship. We all message our partners about how work’s going, when we’ve walked the dog or maybe “what’s for dinner?” but adding something extra at an unexpected time can really make someone’s day. Adding in an “I love you”, letting someone know you’re thinking about them, or even what you want to do to them when you see them next, is a sure fire way to put a smile on your partner’s face.

2-Parcel of goodies (treats, photos, written notes)

Why wait until a birthday or Valentine’s Day to send your partner something special? Something as simple as their favourite sweets, a photo with a hand written note or tickets for a concert to attend together on your return reminds them how special they are.

3-Face time or Skype dinner date

Just because you’re away from each other doesn’t mean a dinner date can’t exist. Set a time and a date, dress up and light some candles to set the mood then enjoy eating together as if you were in a restaurant. Distance date night can be fun and a more relaxed way of chatting to each other.

4-Jar of dates

Whether you’ve been together 3 or 20 years, it’s still important to have date nights. Think of all the things you like to do together; perhaps it’s taking a walk along the beach where you first met, going out for the day to your favourite place or even just sitting in and watching a movie. Write them down on and put them in a jar, then take it in turns to pick one. They don’t have to be done straight away so you can plan some time off from your schedules to spend together and get back to doing the things you used to do.

5-Turning up unexpectedly

You’re partner may be away but that doesn’t mean you can’t see them before they get home. You could go all out and book a ticket to travel to wherever they’re staying and surprise them at the hotel or just be there when they arrive at the train station or airport. Aside from leading to a clichéd movie reunion, this will also let them know how much you’ve been looking forward to seeing them.

6-Booking a night at a hotel and meeting them there

Can’t wait for them to get home? Ramp up your relationship with a naughty night away. Book a suite, meet your partner at the venue and indulge in what feels like a secret liaison. If you choose to turn your phones off to make your time uninterrupted, make sure someone knows where you’ve gone, to avoid some unexpected visitors later on!

7-Dated letters

Sending electronic messages is quick and easy, but there’s something different and special about getting back to basics with a letter. This is a great way of connecting with your partner and requires some forethought, showing them how much you care. Dated letters (i.e. open on …) are a personal way of communicating when one of you is away and also make great keepsakes for looking back on in the future.

8-Reconnection date

When you know they’re coming home, make preparations. This could be getting food for a romantic meal or something a little more erotic by buying some new underwear or sex toys. From here, you can build the anticipation by sending your partner a photo of what’s to come later that evening.


 

The power of human touch is an incredible thing. Pure, physical contact, however small can have far reaching benefits — physiologically, emotionally, and even spiritually.





It is all too easy to allow distance to enter your relationship, especially if your partner finds it hard to display emotion, physically or verbally. Reaching out to your partner with seemingly casual, but thoughtful, gestures can make a world of difference to how you can connect and is a good way to remind your partner how meaningful their touch is to you.

Get intimate

 Try to plan your day so you can save some energy for your partner and then approach them for intimacy. Try not to wait for them to instigate physical contact.
 If you show someone you need them, you can pay them no higher compliment.

Write it down

Slipping a handwritten note into their bag or briefcase, laying it on the console of their car or tucking it into their lunchbox will cause them to think about you during the day. From simply saying ‘I love you’ to describing something more intimate, words can touch the heart directly. Hopefully it will make them want to hurry home to you once their day is done.

Sustinance

When you are both working around the house, bringing them a drink or a snack is a huge sign that you notice their efforts to make your house a home. This small gesture speaks volumes about your gratitude, appreciation and your interest in what they are doing.

Treat them

Flowers, chocolate, a favourite tipple to share or a ticket to a favorite game or would be an awesome gesture. It shows you are thinking about them.

Show affection

Reach for your partner at random times. While watching television, out walking the dog, or at a restaurant.  From just a touch to holding their hand, a public display of affection initiated by you is lovely to see. It shows a level of respect and honor that we see too little of in this day and age.

Massage

Give them a shoulder rub or neck massage. It is amazing how much stress you can hold in your neck and shoulders and quite often don’t realize until someone touches you. This intimate release will be a welcome relief for your partner  – start gently and be guided by them as to the strength of your touch.

Hold their attention

When asking your partner a question, especially if you want their undivided attention, touch their arm or the back of their hand. This connection is guaranteed to get their attention. Team it up with direct eye contact if possible to deepen that connection and let them know you are focused solely on them and their opinion. It is a more intimate gesture than you might imagine and usually gets results.

Don’t be afraid of touch and showing affection. It fulfills one of our basic human needs and the smallest gesture can mean so much, lifting the spirit and enriching the soul.